Monday, August 31, 2009

A random trail of thought for today

I had my back against the cavern walls, my eyes fixated at the entrance of the cavern, rifle at the ready. I was on first watch that night while my mates hung back deeper in to get some rest. The fire that we had kept alive to keep warm and serve as our only source of light was getting steadily dimmer and I saw the shadows of the night creep closer as if an animal sneaking up on it's prey.

As I sat there keeping watch, I heard someone coming up from the cavern. I shrugged it off as I knew it was about time for someone else to keep watch. We greeted each other and I turned around and headed into the cavern for some rest.

As I walked through the winding tunnels of the cavern and I finally reached my designated resting spot. The intricate design of the cavern only came into being after months of digging out places to keep safe from them and the bombs that were falling.

I set aside my rifle and laid down to rest.

I woke up several hours later to the sounds of my mates shouting something obscene. I went out into the main cavern and saw them gathered around a body on the floor. I rushed to their side and I saw that the body did not belong to one of us. I asked them where they had found the body and upon discovering the body was found not too far from the cavern entrance, I set off right away because I feared that whatever killed this person was close and could sneak in and cause untold havoc in here.

I rushed to my "room" grabbed my rifle and ran out. One of my mates followed suit and in no less than five minutes we were out of the cavern and into the lightly forested area outside. The two of us stealthily approached the area where the body was found. As our destination became closer and closer, the familiar smell of death began to fill the air.

Suddenly I heard the sound of lightning and a flash of light, I hit the floor and I glanced back to see if my mate had done the same. He was standing there rooted on the spot, clutching his chest, staring at me. He opened his mouth trying to say something but then another shot was fired and he was hit in the head, taken by death's cold embrace before he could speak a word.

I frantically looked around for the source of the bullets but I could make non out. I crawled to my mate's body and took his dogtags off. I then immediately stood up and too flight. I heard no shots being fired so I ran as fast as my feet could take me. As I sped along the forest, the cavern was beginning to be in my sight so I picked up my pace. Suddenly an arm came out from behind a tree and I was clothelined to the floor.

A man came from behind the tree, I recognized him as the man who replaced me during my watch kast night. His rifle hanging on his back. He stepped over me and put his knee on my chest. He looked into my eyes with disgust and pulled a knife out from his pocket. He stabbed me in the gut and then moved in close. "Die" he whispered into my ear as he pulled out the knife from my gut and proceeded to stab me over and over again.

I felt my life steadily flowing away from me as Death came to claim me, with my last few gasping breaths, I managed to see him stand up and aim his rifle to make sure I was dead. I died before he did his last dastardly deed .




Bored , No story, just crapping, might reexplore this story at a later date

Friday, July 24, 2009

Random Publications

The limits of my emotional and mental capacity are fast approaching. The very ideals I hold dear are shattering apart. I find myself being able to enjoy mundane things now. The problems pile up like a mountain of flammable shit and for once, I didn't bring a flamethrower. When I look at it from an objective standpoint, It all seems so trivial it seems funny, but when viewed from the subjective standpoint that we all find ourselves 'blessed' with, it becomes a problem that is 'impossible' to overcome.

Now, it all seems fine and normal for a person to go through times like this, right? There's always someone to turn to and discuss your problems, right? Unfortunately, I do not trust people enough to discuss my problems in detail and would rather run into a brick wall, repeatedly, at full speed. Is my preference for bone shattering impacts with no positive outcome much more rewarding than sharing my problems and letting go of my emotions? Well, it seems that way. I'd rather have bones shattering than have something people can hold against me. The whole world revolves around the delicate card game that we call life where no one holds all the right cards but those who know when to play the wrong card are the true winners.

I am sure the last paragraph made no sense, I'm making it up along as I go. I am sure you are all waiting for a short piece by now yes? Of course, how silly of me.




A young man sits idly on the rooftop of a building, he lets out a sigh as he remembers the days he has just left behind. He grew up a social recluse during his 'formative years', not having much friends and avoided sports. He was a bright kid and though he was not 'popular' by any standards, he was content with life. Not throughoutly happy but satisfied. As this boy entered high school, he had decided he wanted to change, he took up sports and become slightly more social, slowly learning the ropes of being more social. He made lots of friends and though he believes he underachieved in his sport, he actually met all expectations and even exceeded some because he had never done sports prior.

With his new life involving sports and social activities, the boy turned teen began losing focus on his studies, but he never lost all focus and managed to score decent enough grades. This may all sound happy and dandy but the teen was not happy. He craved more but he did not know what exactly he craved, he had somehow developed a sense of ambition, to be the best but he never knew what he wanted to be the best at. He became obsessed with many things that he should not be obsessed with.

As his ambition grew, his social life grew steadily with it and before he knew it, he had managed to make more than his fair share of 'friends' that he trusted. He strived to keep his friends close and eventually slowly began to realize they were not his friends at all, they were merely there and were talked to, they were not there to help. Infact, he even noticed a trend that he was the one that was to help them all. He began taking back the misgiven trust that he placed on them but he never showed them that he was sick of it. There were few that still had his trust but those were truly few and far between. As he slowly took back the trust, he grew unnecessarily self aware and always postured himself, a shell that no one was to look through, he learnt to properly mask his true feelings by masking it from himself. He was just a coward hiding beneath well made characters. An endless charade began where he pretended he was unaware of what people truly perceived he was, or what he thought that they truly perceived him as.

This person had lost sight of who and what he was. He awaited something or someone to call him out of this shell of charades but he was lost, nobody was able to. Until...

End.

Not my best. Needs work, central theme is lacking.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Random Publications

I sit here in my room, lights darkened and windows covered by curtains. My face illuminated with but the pale glow of the computer screen. My fingers dancing around the keyboard as if engaged in a ritualistic dance. Line after line of text begins to fill the screen as my fingers perform their tasks dutifully.

The dull humming of the computer mixed with the sounds made by the fan blend together to make a wonderful soundtrack as my ears are kept occupied by the sounds. I endlessly type and pour out my heart's most well kept secrets. I curse the fools who played my hand too early and stayed me from ultimate glory.

The fools I know bring only despair and misfortune to others, being far too arrogant in their actions to take pause and weigh their consequences. Their unfocused movements forced me off the tightrope of my life and I now hang precariously from the rope and pray that the preparations I have made prior to this day would suffice.

My fingers start to falter and my vision blurs. I know that I am not far from my end. Some editing here and there and my piece would be complete. My final act of retribution on men who deemed themselves much more than I. As I near completion of my last great scheme, my body gives out. And I fall off the chair.

The humming of the computer continues on as if in insult to me. Lying now empty on the table was an open bottle of tablets and a mug. The contents of the bottle were strewn about and the mug is empty.

The final piece of my grand scheme comes together as in my comatose state, I felt my last breath leave me.

- A rather odd piece.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

My World, Your World #1

It is with great pleasure that I speak of this topic today. I'm sure you are all wondering why I say my world and your world when obviously we all live on this same world. Nay, I am not taking time out of my busy life to write about mother earth, she has enough fans as it is.

The world I am talking about today is the world as seen by teenagers, where each of us are as if confined to our own little world surrounded by members of our collective clique where nothing you ever did was wrong, nobody would bother to take the time to look at you apart from your friends, and nobody wanted to lead you away from this madness.

Oh my, I seem to sound angsty, I apologize that is not at all my intention. That was merely a way to start things off. My life is a rather interesting one as you may see. I hope you may apologize as I may have dramatized it a bit. 

Alright, let me begin from the years I was in pre-school. My pre-school life was a very odd time when we were first taught to use computers, we got into pitiful fights with each other over the silliest of things but that was the life back then. No divisions between the smarts the dumbs, the hots the nots. Of course, that was pre-school. If life stayed that simple there wouldn't be war.

Of course, pre-school won't last forever and before I knew it I was forced to primary. Jeez, I remember the first few months like it was yesterday. Clinging on to my mom's car even as it started moving, causing a fuss so that all the teachers would get pissed and all the stuff kids would love to do. Of course that couldn't go on forever and I stopped being such a little bastard after awhile. My teachers found a way to control me which I never found out what, but I do remember being an unnecesary dick in my early primary days. I even told teacher that doing their homework was boring because it wasn't challening. Oh if only I could say that about my homework these days. Haih. 

In primary, especially as I got older, I was an unnecesarily angry kid. I guess my brain must have matured faster or I wasn't just able to control my emotions, but I almost committed suicide and attacked fellow students when I was younger. All of it was provoked of course , but looking back, if the things that provoked me then were to happen to me now, I wouldnt even take notice. My oh my, my youth was embarassing. 

Of course, primary is never complete without monkey love. I did have people I was in to back in my youth but it never came to fruitation. Didn't have the balls then. Still don't have the balls today. 

Damn, I seem to have drifted from the topic at hand, It is here during the primary school days that the rifts start forming, different groups all hanging together. Here however, I was still comfortable, because I grew up with many of them and I could count on them. I didn't have many friends back in those days but the one's I did have I cherish till today. 

End part 1

Thursday, March 19, 2009

post two,

A man jogging early in the morning, his head lost in thought. His body was well toned and he had scars apparent on his exposed arms. His well kept hair also revealed that we may have been involved in either the armed forces or something of that equivalent.

"Every morning the same routine, wake up early, get some jogging done, do some gym work then off to work. Can't life be any more interesting?" he muttered to himself. Little did he know he would regret this words not much later.

I was finishing my normal jogging route when I saw some blood on the trail and signs of a struggle. I paused and began searching for whatever else I can. As I was looking through the dense bush, I saw something sparkle out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head to face it and I saw something that would shock most people, the body of a teenage boy floating in a ditch. Oh jeez, this is going to cause some unnecessary problems for me.

I took out my cell phone and called the cops. It didn't take them long for them to arrive and make a fuss out of things. The body was fished out of the ditch and they were checking him over when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw a pretty experienced looking officer looking me straight in the eye. I could only manage a "May I be of assistance officer" before he motioned to his car. This was going to be a looong day.


Post One, Reentry to the writing world

A man, roughly 5 feet 9 inches tall, slaving away at his computer. He had messy black hair and thick black rimmed glasses. He was wearing only his boxers and a bathrobe. He wasn't the most appealing person to the eyes but he wasn't a slob either. Weights and other exercise gadgets were strewn around the floor as if just after use. He suddenly paused and stared at the table.

The table is covered in memories. Moments in time too precious to throw, yet too painful to keep my eye's on them. I wiped away the lone tear that formed around my eye. I saved the file that contained my life story and headed to the kitchen to grab a mug of coffee. I lived in a very simple place. Apartment number 13 on the 13th floor of my condominium. It isn't too shabby but since most people think that the number 13 is extremely unlucky, I got the place for a bargain price. The apartment was divided into 4 rooms, A bathroom, a bedroom, kitchen and also my living room. Strangely though the biggest room is the bathroom, but at the very least it's something to talk about with people.

Well anyways when I got to the kitchen, everything seemed serene enough. I started boiling some water on the stove, grabbed my special mug and started mixing in the coffee mix. I loved my coffee a wee bit sweet so I added some condensed milk into the coffee. While waiting for the water to boil, I heard someone knock on my door. I opened the door and I saw my buddy Andrew collapse. He smelt of alcohol.

I thought to myself, I owe him enough to let him lie there for a bit. And that's where my trouble begins.

End Post 1.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Tagged lulz

By both Lweez and Adam.

The Meme:
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose six people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave a comment (“You’re tagged!”), and to read your blog, you can’t tag a person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

1. I obsess to much about rugby
2. I have a fluctuating ego, it goes high and it goes low all the time.
3. My faith in humanity is very low, hence I am easily joyed by other's accomplishments (bad experience in the past)
4. I am still recovering from a bad relationship way back in the past
5. I rarely share my sad feelings, my happy feelings however, I love to share
6. I enjoy when other's enjoy themselves.
7. Gaming used to be a bigger part of my life than it is today.
8. I have this obsession with making money, I have no real goal other than to make lots of money and sit on it.
9. My views on certain things are considered strange by some
10. I lack a sense of humour
11. I am rather indecisive and also tend to change my opinion on things alot
12. I believe myself to be open minded even though I may not be
13. I believe people have more faith in me than they should
14. I am a major nerd 
15. I used to post on forums alot, now I keep forgetting to (see: getting older)
16. My mind wanders from thinking everyone is a total idiot or geniuses, it's negative and positive that way

Tagging:
Nadia
Azzief
Rezal
Aunty Najwa :P
Naomi
And hanaan x)

My Dream Their Reality

I sit there, merely giving them the briefests of acknowledgements as they speak their own language. Not once do I say that I do not understand them, that I do not understand their sharp words that are aimed at me. I merely allow them their fun, for what is life without fun. I smile and pay for my food and I am off, excusing myself with sweet words to allow them to enjoy themselves in their merrymaking.

I arrive at my place, sit back and think. For that is all I have left to myself these days and nights. For better or for worse I have come to a place where many roads lie before me and I have willingly chosen the one with more peril but promises most gain. Every step I take brings me ever closer to the limits of my sanity, my saving grace lies no more within the material world for that is I, one who holds nothing dear any longer. 

Many a day I have come to my study where I have no more left in me to smile, and those around me show their concern. Though my heart knows their concern is true my mind corrupts it as trust becomes rarer and rarer to place. Never before have I faltered in placing my trust but as it is, I may soon loose faith in more things than was ever thought possible.

Many times I have opted to go seperate ways when I was in the company of the people I know. They see me sit down and write, and though in reality I just needed to escape from the confines of their norm, I bait them to believe I am busy as not to hurt their feelings. I feel myself losing my grip on myself, as if I no longer even know who I am.

These problems tear at my very being day in and day out but I keep hoping to myself I'd cure myself of this sad state of depression. May those who it may concern in these blog never figure out it is they that I speak of.