Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Immortal Post Two

There is very little that stands out about this day, perhaps save the seemingly perfection of it. The sun's rays gently sharing its life giving warmth to the world. The gentle music of birds, singing their birdsong as if celebrating the day. The atmosphere seemed almost overwhelmingly unnatural in that sense. Of course, perfection doesn't last forever, and those that missed the moment to the ever enchanting tendrils of sleep would have missed it all.

The sounds of a town coming alive, the sounds of life begin slowly began to pour forth from the formerly silent surroundings. The song of the birds fade slowly, till seem as if they were just imagined all along. Like a scene from any place in the world, the people round this town got to their business of living.

At a house like every other house, with a small garden in front of the porch, a man opens the door. He is dressed rather casually for the day. A casual collared top, jeans with sneakers. If you were to bump into him, you'd have wondered what it was he was up to this day. A youthful looking face, a little under 6 foot tall and a fit body, it seemed it was equally likely he was off to work or college. And it wouldn't have seemed out of place if he was just out for a walk, with nothing in particular to do on this day.

He steps out, making sure to lock the door behind him and takes out a cigarette. Looking round he decides to sit on a chair that was placed next to a table by the door. The table was made of wood, nothing too fancy but sturdy. On it, there was a aluminium tray, the surface of it covered in what seemed to be black spots. Almost anyone would know immediately it was an ashtray of course, but if one didn't see the remnants and marks of the ash, they'd think it was a kind of a place where snacks would be put.

Relaxing into his seat, he pats his pockets and finds what he is looking for, a pack of matches. Muttering to himself, words seeming unintelligible, he strikes the match and lights his smoke. The first drag, it seemed as if he was taking as much in as he could as he could inhale. The cigarette left his lips and he seemed to stare off into space. He breathed out the smoke slowly, taking the opportunity to fully embrace the moment. There seemed to be no air of urgency around this man at all. He just sat there, seemingly savoring every bit of his morning treat.

Before long, the embers crept up to the filter, and the man put out the cigarette on the ashtray. He stood up, stretched out and took a deep breath. As he exhaled, a keen eye would see his body settle into an extremely relaxed state. Deliberately slow, he began walking down the path to the side of the street and off he went on a walk.

Though it seemed he had no purpose, there was a definite destination. He walked leisurely and seemed to be in no rush. He picked out a path that would take him into town by passing the local school. As he enjoyed his walk, the crowds slowly began to fill the streets. Some were dressed in office clothes, heading into town for work. Looking sharp in a well pressed shirt, slacks and matching tie. Some were parents walking their children to school. Some of the older kids were walking in their groups, content without their parents to shepherd them to school.

It was a normal day by any definition. The man walked and walked, and as he neared the school, he saw a father and his child by the school gate. The man seemed to be comforting the child whose face was as if it was close to tears. The man paused in his step as he looked upon that scene.

~~~

It seemed but a few short moments ago,
My child, you had been reluctant, but relented.
I remember the warmth that was your hand,
You were afraid, but you were brave.

It seemed time flew by too fast,
My child, you were young, and you grew.
I saw every moment, I hope I had done enough,
Your father can't share all, but I wish it was enough.

I remember watching from among the crowd,
My child, I saw you weep, I must apologize.
From afar, I watched you age, I wish it was a lie,
And one day, I was the one weeping.

~~~

I snapped out of my brief day dreaming. I knew that I shouldn't have stared. I walked up to the pair and smiled warmly to the father.

"What seems to be the problem" I said to him.

The father responded as if tired, "He doesn't want to go to school, he forgot to do his homework"

A scene that seemed so familiar yet strangely distant. I turned to the child, a young boy of about 9 years of age. It really did seem like he forgot, and felt really bad about it, you could see the tears that barely checked themselves wet his eyes. "I'm not sure what's your name, but I do know one thing. If you go to school today, and honestly apologized to your teacher, she won't scold you. You might have to work on it straight away but I don't think she can be upset with you" I said to the boy.

The child looked to his father and then to me, once more to his father and back to me. He mumbled to me, "That's what dad sad, but I don't believe him. She's scary and mean.". I looked at his father who seemed to be at his wits end as to what he should do. It seemed to be it was his first child, if he had others he would have handled it like a pro.

I looked to the child, smiling the warmest smile I could, "Alright kid, I am sure she won't scold you but if she does, you make your dad get you a present, or you can come and bug me for ice cream or something. How's that ?". The child seemed to calm down at that, he turned to his dad and said, "Really, can I do that Dad?". The father, picking up on the hint, immediately answer in the affirmative. The child seemed to be happy with this and started to walk into the compound. As he was about to enter, he turns to me and shouts "You better promise me Mister, if she scolds me you owe me Ice Cream !". I chuckled at that and shouted back, "It's a deal !" as I waved him off.

I started to make a move and get back to my walk, but the father stopped me. "Thank you, I seemed to have blanked out for a bit there and didn't know what to do. You were a great help. What is your name Sir ?". I smiled at him and said "No problem, it was nothing much. It's normal, its always easier to butt into someone else's problems and help than it ever is to solve your own. I'm Ezekiel Azuma, but you can just call me Zeke. Anyways, I have to be off, there is somewhere I need to be."

"Thank you again Zeke, hopefully I can return the favor sometime. I hope not to keep you. It's been a pleasure meeting you." he said smiling. "And I you, may we meet again soon !" I replied as I began walking off.

I arrived at my destination not too long after, a homely looking cafe. It's somewhere that I frequent quite often. It has a good cook and the coffee is pretty good. They don't smokers that much as well, and they have an indoor smoking area. Perfect for someone like me. The door sign said open, so I let myself in and waved to the staff that by now, I was very familiar with. I walked over to the smoking area, and found a seat at a corner, one of the few tables in that part of the cafe.

The waitress walked over bringing a cup and holding a flask at what I could only guess at being coffee. With a warm smile, she put the cup on a saucer plate from the table and poured me a cup. "What are you having today Zeke ?" she asked in a tone that managed give off a warm professional feel.

"I'm thinking something classic, hmm, how about toast, sausages and scrambled eggs. The usual set I mean". I said, and I noted as she scribbled down the order on a pad of paper she had retrieved from her breast pocket. "Would that be all ?" she said and I nodded in the affirmative. She nodded back, smiled and brought the flask with her back to the counter. Well, you can always ask for more coffee here, and they were nice enough to leave the creamers, milk and sugar on the table for us to decide how we like our drink. I took a few teaspoons of sugar and mixed it into my coffee.

I pulled out my pack of smokes, fumbled for a cigarette and was about to light till I noticed there wasn't an ashtray on the table. I was about to raise my hand and ask for one but I saw the waitress from before coming to the table with an ashtray. I smiled at her and said, "You read my mind". She just smiled, waving it off with the words "Of course I'd know how a regular acts".

She left to start waiting on everyone else. I paid no more mind, and I lit my cigarette, I took the first puff in a long drag. I feel the smoke as it passed my lips and rushes down my throat into my lungs. I hold it for a brief moment and let it out really slowly. Enjoying the little things keeps me sane I suppose.

I took a sip of the coffee. Sweet, just the way I enjoyed it best, and I let my mind wander once more, Moments like this are the best to kick back and just let the mind do as it pleases.

~~~

The taste of raw flesh,
The warm blood flowing out of my mouth,
It wasn't long before I began cooking it,
It seemed to taste so much better than before.

Before the rise, there was life,
After the rise, we saw growth,
No other animal indulges in cooking,
And no other species has been so hedonistic. 

I remember my early meals, I don't want to,
I had no purpose for nutrition,
Nor sleep, nor water.
I just wanted to feel like all the others.

Before man, I had tried to bond with animals,
Before man, much did I long for company,
Before man, to eat was to feel like I was trying to survive,
After man, it was beyond that, and I lusted flavor.

~~~

The End


I hope you guys like the direction this is taking. Do tell me what you think in the comments !

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The Immortal Post One


The Immortal 

Life without an end,
A hope that exists in all Humanity,
Allow Me to be Eternal,
The Great Dream of those that are Mortal.

From days beyond memory,
Till the days beyond comprehension,
I have existed, and shall exist,
Cursed to never end, and never forget.

From the time of nothing, I wandered,
Alive but not living, Aware but not awake,
I know now it was my one blessing,
For that numbness was never meant to last.

The rise of man, the world changers,
As they began their pitiful existence, I was changed,
That numbness, my normalcy, began crumbling down,
Though I felt before, I realize this was something more.

I watched them, 
I cared for them,
I walked among them,
I buried them.

In the millennia I existed,
These men existed for but a blink,
In the millennia I existed,
This was the first I felt loss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke to the sounds of cars and the warmth of the morning sun gently caressing me as I greeted the world. That memory once more of a time before time, In a land that would seem bizarrely alien to those around me, I had began my journey. It seemed that my curse would never let me go.

"Well then, let's be off for today" I thought to myself

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were many things in the world that is oft overlooked as it becomes common, and in the world, many of the sweetest things that are will eventually lose its magic. Look back to the joy of a child as they see the first snowflake of winter, or the look on travelers as they visit National Monuments that exist in your city, the same ones that you relegated to being unimportant. The miracle of life, the light of passion that burns in the eyes of your fellows. The very act of living can lose its meaning slowly and surely as life slowly batters an individual and batter down the very resolve that made what was once proud to follow.

In a world such as this, in a city like any other there lives an individual who has lived longer than imaginable, but looking in his late 20's. Unassuming, relatively reserved and hardly anything standing out about him, he lives his life with what seems to be an unnaturally balanced bearing. Neither looking to help others nor ignoring them, helping all he sees but never seeming particularly pleased with himself. There seems to be a certain something about this individual, but there also seems to be not much at all, and the collective community has taken to accepting him as is.

In a day, like any other day our story will begin, or rather, carry on.



Notes

I'm still working out how best to approach the writing of the story, from whose perspective, and how best to bring to life a story. I thank all the people who have pushed me to begin and really remind me how bad I got from the lack of practice.

Well, let's hope you enjoy my writing journey with me.







Appreciation To Everyone

Allow me a moment to thank everyone that comes back to read this even after two years of the blog being silent. I have migrated to pen and paper as my major medium to let out, however this series of writings are meant to be written and shared, to see how far I can take this concept.

I won't be gunning for long flowing pieces of literature, but I shall commit to writing bits and pieces consistently and let them slowly add up to being a whole.

That being said today is a light introduction to the concept I want to run with for a while. They will not be chronological nor are they set in stone yet. Concepts will change with time and if in the end, I'll try and arrange it in a manner that allows it to be read more clearly.

I would appreciate feedback in any shape or form !

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Scribbling on the walls.

Reaction, Judgement.
What is believed our right,
Never the other's.

Freely discriminate, generalize, stereotype,
Look simply and never critically,
Judge and condemn,
But never understand.

Discriminated, generalized, stereotyped,
We moan we are not the same,
Judged and condemned,
We claim ignorance.

Fail, fall and never rise,
Not because we have failed,
Because others tear us down,
We are aggrieved.

Fail to do, and things crumble,
Not our fault for failure,
But the fault of others for failing to help,
We are aggrieved.

No one looks, no one acknowledges,
We tried our best, not our fault,
But the fault of others for being better,
We are aggrieved.

Rise on the back of others,
We are successful now,
Nobody helped us,
We are proud.

Take advantage of, lie to, profit from,
We now stand taller than ever before,
This was only us, no one else,
We are prouder still

When told we are wrong, we never are,
When told we are right, we always were,
Afraid of failure and error,
Fail to realize neither is the same.

Never bend, Never break, Never falter,
How can it be bad ?
For us to never listen to understand,
Only to listen to reply and make wrong.

Never us, Never us,
This speaks not of us,
It speaks of others still,
Do we never realize ?

Friday, February 7, 2014

Nothing

What strikes you hardest and knocks you lowest,
Is not to never try and never fail,
Nor is it to fail when you try your hardest,
But when you reach and claw your way,
And with all in reach and nothing stopping you.

And for you in that moment to let go,
And let it crash to the floor,
Shattering what you held after so long,
It is not the feeling of failure that fills you,
No words find form.

Trash, lash out, cry, scream,
Do everything to anyone or anything,
Nothing will change, nor will you feel relieved,
You had it, yet never did and never will.
Tragic, time never looks back.

___


Allow me to illustrate, imagine your goal and imagine every step of the way. Now as time moves slow and only ever forwards, you work and you toil. You fail and fall but always stand up. You struggle and you fight and never once do you consider the failure as complete. Imagine with every passing moment you struggle ever closer to your dream, and imagine every hardship you pass changes you just that little bit. And on this course you keep till the day comes when you finally can achieve what you hope to achieve or do what you want to do, be it a holiday or new job, children or surprise, so long as it was something you cherish and had worked for.

And at the moment where the summation of all that you have done and you have in your hand, you let it slip, be it due to the moment or maybe the events that you had passed will change you beyond being able to have what you wanted. You realize that the moment has passed. You just cannot change what happened. In the very moment that you would so have loved and appreciated it most, you lose it yourself and rip it away from yourself. And nothing can change that.

Because time only goes forward.

Allow that to sink in for a moment. There is nothing else to blame but yourself. Only that which you have done, that which you have failed to do, that which you chose not to do, the choices you made and the final action. It's a journey that finds the most breaking ending that you can have. It's just rather depressing, isn't it ? Rather disappointing no ? 

Reflex, rational, well thought or instinctual. Action, Inaction. Each and every one of these things will change what lays in front of us. A product of choice and experience, of decisions made and avoided, of influencing and being influenced. Is that not what we are ? And to finally have what we desire most and have it ripped away and none of these things matter because you were the fool. Isn't it just grand ?



I haven't typed anything up in ages, but it seems I still reek of a madman.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Frustrated Insanity

There is a facade that exists for no other reason than it does. A society that thrives on misinformation, malice and fallacies. Institutions of education and bastions of intellectual discussion brought to their knees. A society that claims to be cultured and caring obsessed with being holier than thou in it's day to day interaction but within closed door an entirely new society exists.

Every day when people go out and interact with others, there will always be a smile, a curt greeting and a seemingly honest on one's day. Veils of tolerance and indifference to social ills, a seemingly humane and loving society that is built to show care. But far too often that it remains a mere facade of every day life. The moment an individual finds themselves in a far more secure environment,  then all veils are thrown aside. First come the accusations of fault in character, than the assumptions of fault in action. Every action driven by a need to prove one superior to another. What does this accomplish ? Does this show an individual is indeed better than the other because the other has presumably done something of dubious origins ? Or does it merely show that we are yet merely trash that bothers not with the effort of overcoming the chains that ties us to mediocrity. Look pass what the actions of other's are and look to what your actions are, the moment you can stand to answer for what you have said and done is the moment that defines you as an individual worthy of recognition. But if you only stand to take credit for the good and ignore the fact that you have indeed done something worthy of ire and pretend it is the fault of others, then you are no worse than trash of society.

What good do you have going for you when all you do is criticize them behind their backs, on social media, in your diary. Would you see change from when they don't know what change is needed ? Why do you then look at those who do willingly point out what they dislike, what needs changing or what they inwardly think and unafraid to show, with disdain and condemn them.to your screwed standards of right and wrong which makes it seem as if you feel yourself always right and always good to judge. The paradox of life that you live in, you criticize those that criticize others. How noble does that seem to make you, a protector of the weak. 

Nevermind the fact that protecting the weak is an insult to those as if they are so fragile, as if they do not have the ability. But you show them that they are in the right, that it is okay to remain as ignorant and stupid as they are, and you fight for them condemning the ones that actively try to correct them, and you build an umbrella for them to hide under the pretense that they are learning when truth is they are no longer bothered, they give up, they sell themselves short. They settle for mediocrity because we do not force them to accept the challenge and fight for their best. 

But we are a polite society, and it seems fair to leave them as it is, the ones who are great stopped caring as they realized, it doesn't matter if the stupid, the foolish and the ones that do not want to succeed stay that way, because it makes life easier for the great.

After all, not all of society can be leaders.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

A random string of thought

Do what you feel you must do,
Believe what you believe is right,
Speak what you feel needs spoken,
Think what needs to be thought.

Write what needs writing,
Love what needs loving,
Act as you should act,
And never lie as best you can.

Care less about what other's think,
Care more what your heart says,
Temper more with your mind,
Not temper your mind with your temper.

Smile when angry,
Courteous when spoken rudely to,
Graceful when people around you are clumsy,
And treat others as you should be treated.

Take responsibility for your actions,
Don't be involved in others.
Stand firm with what you've done,
And never let someone make it seem wrong.

Find no fault in other's difference,
And have confidence in yours,
Have no qualms with others,
And stay true to yourself.

Work for what you want,
Never ask for what you will regret,
Remember nothing is your right,
And find humility when you're not rewarded

Let your mind wander
And write down what is wondered,
May others find coherence,
In places you find none.