A Story Of Insanity

A Short Story Of Insanity

What has been is less than what may have been, I see that my soul has born its share of horrors and has as yet remained strong. Though the story of the soul may be clouded in history in it's making and it's intricacies but realize that we bear our souls as best we can when yet we are given the chance.

Life has dealt to me what none wish to bear but of which many have borne and survived. Life has given me that feeling of love yet to have that very same feeling though strong and good in its essence, unrequited as it is , has broken the strength of mind that I held close and dear. I watched as it broke what was left of me, and left me yet a mess of a man, a rambing insanity that speaks of nothing yet of everything, speaking truths that none wish to hear.

The reality of my existence was ever a facade of what is not . A being brought into this realm purely for one reason, to exist and find purpose, but to what extent does a person wish to find his own purpose. I drifted through what reality may I find having no hope but to gain understanding, finding no other that completed me as though the fragments of my soul were built incomplete , no piece to be found that will fit that which remained empty. Realize as I have that though this may seem a drastic situation with no medication, trust that it may not be as it seems but realize that it may have been that like I, we are meant to serve no other purpose in life than to be brought into being.

But to have no purpose is not to be empty but just to be that which has no need to fulfill. Break the boundaries of your mind and see such as I, this is not a fallacy of being but just another state of being. Grasping on to something that does not exist like I have will only destroy what you have made with what you have.

I have allowed myself to fall into the emotional strain that is love, watch reason disintegrate into nonbeing when the fuels from the depths of my soul which have long thought been buried surfaced and destroyed. I watched it all burn down. My very soul burn. I have given my soul to someone that I thought to have been the piece that I have long sought. This force of something that rightfully did not belong to be where it no longer fit caused more harm than what good it could have ever done.

Steps to insanity it began, saw what was not , thought what was not in existence and began to question it all. And it destroyed me . The failure of those around me to bridge the gap , to bring me through this wreckage of my insanity, let me slip further. What I was failed to remain, failed to struggle on, and what is me was destroyed. A husk of a man, thinking of things that bear no meaning. The destruction brought upon an investment in which was unjustified and risking far too much to survive. Leave me to die for I am already dead, Insanity has taken me. No thought, no cohesion, a misdeamor of mind and an exercise in self destruction. The realization when reason is drowned by raw emotion, mankind makes its fatal mistakes. And realize that such has happened to I. A shadow of myself, an empty husk that no longer will fill, because I have went against my very being, my very purpose of having none. Unsatisfied with being noncomplacent, seeking what should not and destroyed what good I had.

The story of my life that of which had a woman, she who toyed with my very being, my very soul. Destroyed the fabric that held together the pieces , saw myself destroyed though she thought she was having her fun. Saw everything that was me slip away, give all that I am to her, my soul bared, but for naught . What was left of a mockery. To love and to have lost, and to invested my soul so dearly . A mistake where there will no be no reprieve. Just a fragment of what was left, struggling for a single piece and losing the puzzle.

And Insanity takes me.

A Perfect Imperfection

The Truthful Lie

The hold of reality

The lure of fantasy

Mankind was made imperfect

To find satisfaction living within imperfection

To achieve gratification and perfection

Will set yourself free, and will stop that which needs to be

The hunt of something which will never be achieved

To keep grasping for more and never satisfied

But really, isn't that being human ?

Thanks :)

 

Thanks a bunch , Hayani!

What will I ever do without you? :D

Sorry couldn’t help it XD oh and I have deleted your password from my memory. I don’t even know what it is right now. No worries. I don’t like Blog-jacking. Its horrid ;)

Design :)

Hello there fellow human(s) !

  I would like to point out that this blog has been through template editing. Yes, yes it is obvious. Stop rolling your eyes.

Truthfully I have no idea what to write here.

I’m Hayani. Not Haziq/Elethor/Elliebelly. Our writing styles are different even though I have learned from him. Over the past years that I’ve known about this blog, it has helped me improve my writing skills tremendously. So it was an honour for me to help decorate this blog to make it seem more attractive and exquisite.

Oh by the way, Haziq, if you want me to change the design just because you’re bored of it. Just ask :)

Keep writing, your words sometimes becomes the voice of our hearts.

Sincerely ,

-Hayani-

The Release

Long has time set still here, a bitter reminder of old habits, of long dried tears,

Of what was, what has been and what will never be again.

Time here lies waiting, it knows no end to patience,

Because time know's, you will come once more.

Imagine what thus has been, what you will never look back in your life fondly in, remember that moment. Cherish it. For what would life be if not sweet for those who have traveled through the roughest patches of life and have yet, came not unscathed but rather, has born their scars with what should only be known as Heroism. Seeing life come crashing down, but not at all surrendering, shows of a man who seems to have no fear, but do you not believe instead that he has conquered what all else deem impossible.

And though you may just laugh and call him fool for him to traverse such a obvious course that bears respite only at it's bitter conclusion. But know that he does not take heart, for he knows, what only men such as he knows, to overcome travesty, to overcome that which all claim impossible, is an accomplishment that nothing can take away.

And thus we see where time now hides, for the moment that the Hero chooses down his path and the Villain chooses to laugh and ridicule, time freezes yet a copy of itself in this very moment. And from then on this moment on, nothing but just reminders that can never be forgotten. Fond for some and crushing for others.

I began with a tale of how time sat still, but heed that what is seen may not be what is meant, and though time may see, yet unchanged in here, a picturesque moment from a forgotten time, if you look, you will see, these are in the past, and though nothing can be changed we must remember that everything must be learned from it.

If no man learned from what lies in time, Then man is doomed to repeat their sins,

Though man should forgive what passed, Never must they forget.

For though should the world split, time never will forget.

And time also knows, if you don't remember.

Then yet another has the pleasure.

Torture

The mind is a terrible thing to waste, the strength untold and it's potential only the truly gifted can comprehend, and it is akin to a vault where our deepest darkest kept secrets lay hidden. The thin line of your mental fortitude is the only thing standing between unveiling the truths you strive so hard to keep silent.

This is true for more than just the common man, infact the real truth is that the secrets are dangerous and that the secrets in the truly wicked are what needs to be attended to, people who are deranged, committed to a cause that not only threatens society but loyal to a master whose vast intricate plots aim only to utterly unravel the fabric of our society and lead us into dystopia.

I bring this matter before you as I believe that the methodology of digging out this information is hardly efficient anymoe, more and more we realize that when given such an immense secret, would they not go to great lenghts in order to ensure that this information can't be privied out of them.

Society has over time, developed intricate methods of torture in order to slowly break away their resistance, everything from the humble beat down to intricate plots of methodologically tearing down their barriers, stripping them away of things dear to them, slowly but surely making their lives akin to living in hell. Alas, sometimes it bears no meaning, but what are we but proud creatures forged by our makers and we pride ourselve in torture. We are beings of sophistication therefore we strive to always make our net of being more and more intricate. We must remember that we pride ourselves on sins and never on the true values of life.

Why do we forever glorify the acts of mutilation, of combat and of destruction ? Why do we not think to savor the beautiful flower that is life, because like a flower, the time we bloom is short, why must we let it go to waste? Perhaps, the truest and yet, simplest answer that yet hides right infront of our eyes is that we are forever eliminating each other to ensure we survive. Indeed, when it was said that the weak shall inherit the earth, there will be some that agree with me that it is meant that they will inherit the earth that we march on their bodies feeding our strength.

Alas, such a morbid view this poor lad has? Perhaps, the smile is not his to use , for if everyone is to speak of sunshine, who then is to remind you that just as the sun rises every morning, it sets every evening and gives way to the dark night .

Masks

The beauty of flowers in the wind, the trees up their masks of color and hide their crooked branches.

The come of fall and slowly the masks of the trees fade away. Unable to conceal their crooked nature.

Then winter arrives and covers the wicked branches with sheets of beautiful snow and beauty is theirs again.

Spring comes, the beauty fades. And the cycle begins a new. The tree know's he has no aesthetic value,

No chance to spread far and wide, and so his mask of flowers once more come.

The masks people wear. Pretend to be strong. And for some, who's masks are so thick and off to much volume, there is no longer a man within his masks.

The weak shall overcome and soread

Angels In The Night Sky

I lie on the grass, staring up into the sky. Life has dealt the cards and I am left to play the game of solitude as though it may seem cruel, it is just another card played before we shuffle once more and the cards are dealt once more. I close my eyes and see flashes of my days before and wonder what has led me down this lightless road.

Never has the road not traveled been accommodating and we wonder why we choose to go down that path and in the end, we take a step back and go back on the path that most everyone takes and in the end, the joy that could have been is ripped away by our choices. The choice we did not take will haunt us more than the ones we take. Do we as people so strongly believe in the choices made before that we are willing to be shackled to the boundaries society sets and never make for freedom. Our forefathers forever strove to break the barriers and chains in order to set us free but in the end we slave ourselves. Visages of what could have been haunt us and we regret.

To travel the lightless road is dangerous and scary, but we must never forget that not all darkness is treacherous, and not all dark roads lead to despair. As the sailors of old did and went out into the darkest edges of the world, they were not struck with struck dead but instead they were struck with wonder and are forever able to carry their memories with pride. The greatest treasures hides behind the most dangerous seeming roads.

It is time to hearken and hold your beliefs close. Courage has never been more important as we may not all enjoy fame, but those who are never afraid to do what no one else has before are heroes. Failure or success, they accomplish more than ever can be for someone else who is not as foolhardy as he.

I open my eyes and the sky has darkened. I fear not, for I know that no darkness is hopeless. And as I lay there, wind blowing and the sky clear, the first vestiges of the stars begin to shine and I feel hope returning to me. Hope I had thought lost.

I am guilty of traveling the road most traveled, but I do not wish to be a slave, I have no desire to be held in chains. I wish to be free. I will run back to the start and run down the path not traveled and for that for every risk and danger I encounter, the result in the end would be more than worth it.

And the truth is, I am afraid. Because I do realize the peril. But my fear of the unknown is nothing compared to the fear of chains, and even if I am to lay broken on the road, I will not yield and I will fight on till the last breath has left my lungs and I lay dead and broken. What does not kill you makes you stronger, even till the edges of your life.

Would you take the risk?

Looking still into the now star lit sky. I see the angels of heaven come down from above, from the stars. And I realize, I have wasted too much time. Broken I lay there and as the blood ebbs away from my body and my breath grows shorter, I take the time to smile and thank them for the opportunity.

They arrive, and I know nothingness.

I am nothing, just a nick on the tree of history. To some, I might be significant, to most, I am nothing. A death not mourned for it is not known, a passing of a hero of adventure comes and goes as the wind. Noted but not significant.